Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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