Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
