I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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