i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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