Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
