Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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