Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize