Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
