And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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