yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
