I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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