Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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