on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
