Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize