Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
