lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize