I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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