Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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