I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
