I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
