For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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