i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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