No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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