Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
