ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
