My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
There are leaves in my underwear?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
