We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
