Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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