He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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