What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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