Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
