Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He felt like a one man threesome
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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