You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
