Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
accomplished twins. life is a go
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
