I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize