i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
