i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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