Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize