I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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