We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
