I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
