i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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