Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
