i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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