YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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