If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
