so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
