he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
