# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
