she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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