Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
