youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
