id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
