It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
