I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize