I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
