i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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