It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
