we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
