you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
COCAINE IS GR8
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize