I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
