chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
