Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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