that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your penis caused this!
I have post one night stand depression
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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