your parents love me but you hate me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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