Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
