Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
