Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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