I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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